February 21st, 2013Video
Liiiiiiiiiike Kim Kardashian’s boobs are the size of my head & other BREAKING NEWS. Did you hear about Rihanna’s SCRAPED KNEE?!1 #HOSPITAL
Jillboard: “Beards, Boobs, & Beyonce”
Share if you like it, right?Tags: Beyoncé, bradley cooper, bruce willis, die hard, emma stone, jennifer lawrence, Kim Kardashian, life is but a dream, mean girls, nicholas cage, oscars, reaction video, Rihanna, rob kardashian, Taylor Swift, tina fey, zero dark thirty, zooey deschanel
Sorry to scare you, I know you may be in a state of shock and awe after reading this headline for a couple of reasons. First off, you thought the publicity stunt of the year was Skrillex dressing up as Bon Iver at the Grammy’s and purposely making him look like a d*ck on national television. That was truly a malicious, well thought out publicity stunt. Secondly, you swore Chris Brown didn’t have it in him to not smack Rihanna every time he made eye contact with her. You are doubly wrong, my friend. Not only has this sneaky duo been allegedly seeing each other again, but also they have been making music with each other again!Tags: Chris Brown, Rihanna
“We Found Love In Darkness” – DJ TAJ
Ok so as the past few weeks have fluttered by I’ve been on an anti-mashup rampage, campaigning against these DJ-offsprings because I’m bored with them. In the constant pattern of TheJillboard.com, I proved myself wrong with three incredible mashups that made me remember why Girl Talk blew my 16-year old mind. So, first and possibly most importantly, “We Found Love In Darkness”. This song is the pure embodiment of the feeling of ecstasy in the most sonically pleasurable 3 minutes of your LIFE. It’s “We Found Love” by Rihanna/Calvin Harris and “Fade Into Darkness” by Avicii. It sounds like this should have been the original mix, because it fits so perfectly that it’s actually heavenly. I can’t even describe how in love with this song I am. It sends chills down my spine.
“Music Sounds Better With Monsters” – The Jane Doze
Download | Hulkshare
Secondly, we have a mashup by The Jane Doze. I’ve seen a lot of blog buzz about this girly duo recently
but ignored it on my anti-mashup campaign. The song is STUNNING. The other day I was introduced to Big Time Rush’s management, and was prefaced with “you probably don’t know Big Time Rush because you’re not 12″. Actually, I have their CD, because I am 12. And I love them. Sorry I’m not sorry. Anyway, The Jane Doze mashed up BTR’s (yes, I abbreviated their name because I’m a nerd) “Music Sounds Better With You”, the crazy melodic cheesy pop song that says “HELL” on Nickelodeon (!@$%&$&) and Skrillex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! My two favorite genres fused into one. The Jane Doze accomplished the impossible. If you don’t like this song, LEAVE. I don’t want to be mean, but I’m literally head over heels in love with this song, so kindly leave. Kindly. Leave.
“BIG A$$” – mAz
Download | Hulkshare
The last (but not least) is a mashup by one of my close friends, mAz, who is opening for Milkman at Webster Hall Thursday January 19th. It’s a mashup of my fave booty song, “A$$” by Big Sean, and Biggie’s “Hold Ya Head”. A simple, yet, perfectly fitting mashup. “BIG A$$” will be featured on mAz’s upcoming EP “DAMN DENISE”, which has some crazy electro songs, some hip-hop, and more. Cuh-ray.
For tickets to Milkman at Webster Hall 1/19/12 click here: TICKETSTags: Avicii, Big Sean, Big Time Rush, Calvin Harris, DJ TAJ, mAz, Milkman, Notorious B.I.G., Rihanna, Skrillex, The Jane Doze
Download | Hulkshare
LOLZ! This is so jumpy and happy and silly and smiley. A friend of mine from Hartford, DJ Garebear, did a fun little mashup of Vengaboys’ “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!” and Rihanna/Calvin Harris’ “We Found Love”. We found love in a boom boom room! If you’re from the 90s, want to dance and jump on your bed like you’re 12 again, and/or are a girl, you’ll love this one.Tags: Calvin Harris, DJ Garebear, Rihanna, Vengaboys
Buy | iTunes
Sweet lord do I love this song. This is one of my favorite Rihanna songs ever. The melody and beat combo is surreal to me. If you’re not into this you’re either 1) a boy or 2) depressed. That is, of course, a generalization. This video is artful. It’s her best video since she got all Rude in da house. I love how Rihanna can be extremely sonically pleasurable and also graphically stimulating – this is the original concept of a music video, no? I’m also very anti-black and white films, so if I’m saying that this song is graphically stimulating and it’s black and white, that is a statement, sir. Crank this one in the car whilst ghost riding the whip for the full bass effect.
DISCLAIMER: For any new readers who are mildly to largely confused by the dialect used on TheJillboard.com, I just want you to know that I am a small, suburban white girl who thinks she can say anything she wants because it’s the Internet. Regardless of how much truth that statement holds, all sentences like “ghost riding the whip” and ”Rude in da house” are meant for comedic relief and yes, they are supposed to sound pretty strange. With that being said, if you can’t take the heat, please leave the kitchen.